To some people looking at me now; a mature fairly confident independant woman who has run her own business for the last fifteen years, they would never believe how I feel inside, that I still have flash backs and dark thoughts relating to my child hood.I am one of those people who likes to enjoy life ( but finds it difficult trusting and making friends) - but sometimes feel very depressed and alienated.My father has just died and it has brought so many memories to the surface.He used to beat me regularly from the age of five, culminating in a final beating when I blacked out at the age of sixteen, his words were this is the last time I will hit you - as you are too old now to be hit. My childhood was hellish most of the time; one of the things - I can not understand is why my mother did nothing to protect me, - almost blaming me. Iasked her this question recently and she said my father was a frightened young man(27 years over 6 ft tall) taking on huge parental responsibilities and that I must have been naughty to deserve those terrible beatings. Looking back at each episode I can say at no time did I do anything to warrent or justify this behavoir- infact the opposite - saving my younger sister ( by two years life) - while swimming in treacherous waters near our home at the age of five - a non swimmer my self, my father was terrifed of water. There are so many instances - all unprovoked and undeserved. My life only started when I left home, but then I got into two relationships which were violent and it took some time to leave the second one. Since then I have not had a serious partner, but a very good friend/ boyfriend who adored my father ( I have never told him anything about the violence). To compound the issue my sister was treated just the opposite - never hit or hurt in any way - to the point where from the age of three - she had picked up on my parents behavoir and started saying they love me more than you - a mantra which always came out during a sister argument or just to unbalance me even more. My mother particularly blamed me for any thing my sister was upset about, and still does to this day. Towards the end of his life my father made ammends - could see how terrible he had been and became much closer. But now I find out that as in life my parents had been inequitable but also in the monetary support they had given to my sister over many years to keep her life style going. I feel so many emotions - glad that I made it through inspite of everything, but also want ask them all WHY?

Oh my goodness. I feel so much for everyone on this site. I am a 34 yr old woman from Uk and have had to watch my partner go through the pain of fighting to see his 3 children from a previous relationship for 3 yrs. His ex didnt behave as badly as some of the descriptions on here or that i have heard elsewhere, but the way she did, and still does on occasion, behave was enough to put my partner under considerable stress. All because he just wanted his kids to know that he was still there for them and still loves them. Why do these (mainly) women do this? And WHY oh why are they allowed to get away with it? Its beyond me. I know its painful for us adults but we can have no real idea of how this is effecting the growth of the children. I can only assume it is down to some mental health illness however minor or temporary, as these people do not behave 'normally' and show unsettling signs of irrational behaviour and attitudes. They will go to extraordinary lengths to make the 'absent ' father look as bad as possible to everyone. But take note people: Your children will ALWAYS be your flesh and blood and no matter what, they will ALWAYS think of you. If you have no access to them now make sure you write frequently to them, even if you dont post these letters. DATE them and keep them, keep a detailed record of everything because one day your children will be adults who may want some difficult answers. YOU didnt put yourself or them in this position, so do your best. Grieve if you must but please please stay strong as there are people in this world going through the same and you will find support if you look for it. STAY TRUE to yourself and NEVER lower yourself. Your children will find you even if you arent allowed to contact them for now. Ending it is in some cases exactly what these 'mothers' want. My partners ex once told me she wished he would drop dead. Thats all well and good, shes entitled to her opinion, but her children love their dad, for her own selfishness she didnt even think of how the reality of that would devastate her kids. Surely these people arent thinking straight? Things have got to start changing, more and more relationships are ending and something has to be put in place to give dads more rights.

I feel for everyone who visits here. I have not seen or spoken to my child in over six years, and really have had no interaction in over 10 years. The courts are only interested in making sure you pay child support, not that you ever see your child again. I came close to ending it all on several occasions. I implore you to move on and don't hold that hate, as I did. And please, do not consider suicide. I came about as close as anyone can come to that. Move on. Find someone who loves you and is not a narcissist manipulator like our exes. Find love and have another child. Love it like one who has lost that love once before. Life is too short. May the grace of God be with you. God will take vengence, don't do it yourself. My life is good now, but I had to let go. I know that it is not easy but don't waste any more time looking back. Live life now.

My ex has convinced my 2 children that if they ever see me I will kidnap them, yet she is the one that took them behind my back in the first place. The divorce was my fault and I am the first to admit that but it has nothing to do with the children.

She has told them that if they ever see me again I will keep them and they will never see their Mum again, I have a recording of it from a Skype conversation where she didn't realise the phone was not hung up when she was talking to the children.

My son is 8 and is stuck in the middle and I have not spoke to him since last September 2010, my Daughter since Xmas day 2010. I have no contact except abusive emails on rare occasions from my daughter. Even my christmas presents to the children were unwrapped and given to the children a week before Xmas so they had nothing from me on the day.

The courts are useless, every time I go she either doesn't turn up, collapses or plays some stunt to stop the hearing. I have been accused of child abuse (in order to stop contact) that was later proved completely false, then when that was proved she then claimed domestic abuse (also completely false)

The thing is lost here is the children's childhood, I love them dearly, I have never and will never hurt them yet they have now turned against me and side with their mother. I committed adultery I am deeply sorry for that but loosing your children is not a fitting punishment and the children should not be being punished. It is all so so wrong.

Ever since my separeation and divorce from my ex he's made my life a living hell. My oldest daughter has alienated me on and off for the past 3 yrs now. Today is her birthday (12) and she doesn't want to talk or see me. The last time i saw her was Christmas. Now my ex and his wife are trying to do the same things to my other daughter who will soon be 10. Fortunately she knows what they are doing and won't go with it.

My oldest daughter went into a psychiatric facility for 2 months, I was told barely anything of her progress there by the counselors. My ex and I are supposed to have joint custody, but to him he thinks he has full custody.

I love my girls and this hurts so much to think of my oldest believing everything that they say over there. i believe it's abandonment issues she has with her dad since he walked out on us 6 yrs ago. I guess she thinks she has to act or be a certain way so he won't leave again over there.

We have a PC in place and she is putting in for a Guardian Ad Litem to the court. I just pray that finally after 3 yrs of having to deal with this that finally someone else besides my attorney and the PC sees what is going on.